


We Only Do It For The Scars and Stories, Not The Fame

by HunterByDayWhovianByNight



Series: You’ve Got A War, But Who Are You Fighting For? [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Injury, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, The "How Bucky Becomes Captain America" Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 22:19:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13844199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight
Summary: “Only the dead have seen the end of war.” —PlatoBucky doesn’t believe- no, want to believe- that Steve is leaving him.





	We Only Do It For The Scars and Stories, Not The Fame

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This will be a short series with no definite end in sight. I have a lot of heart-wrenching ideas for how Bucky could potentially become Cap, because that's one of my favorite stories in the comics. I know Chris' contract ends earlier than everyone else's, so that's why I think that this could possibly happen in IW: Part 1. I cried a lot writing this one, y'all. title is from "Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends" by Fall Out Boy.
> 
> ~Hunter

Steve lies cradled in Bucky’s arms, limp and dying. His breathing is ragged, shallow. Blood pours from too many places for Bucky to count right now, but he’s very focused on (and very distressed about) the nasty-looking gash in Steve’s thigh. Bucky pants in worry and anxiety as he assesses just how deep this cut is, and it doesn’t look good. Steve’s hot, red blood leaks out of him every time he takes a breath, and Bucky really wishes he had something to construct a makeshift tourniquet out of. All he could offer Steve was a quiet death, out of sight of the battle around them.

Bucky wants to cry, throw up, _scream_ as he feels the sticky warmth of Steve’s blood soak his calf and the dirt below them. Bucky pushes the dirty blond hair out of Steve’s face, off his sweaty and grimy and bloody forehead, so he can look into Steve’s clear blue eyes just one more time. Bucky is crying large, salty tears now; the sparkle and life in Steve’s pretty eyes is fading fast. Neither can find words; Steve because he’s so weak, Bucky because he’s so overwhelmed. Bucky’s just so glad that he was able to see Steve go down so he could pull him out of the battle and the hot Wakanda sun to bring him under this relatively secluded tree.

“Oh, God, Steve, don’t die on me,” Bucky says weakly, trying hold up Steve’s drooping head. In his heart, he knows Steve will probably die. There wasn’t enough serum in the world to prevent death.

“But I… have you,” Steve says, slurring his words and sounding weak. It was hard to hear him over the noises of fighting.

“I don’t want to see you die, Steve,” Bucky said, putting his hand lovingly on Steve’s face. Steve gives Bucky a half-smile with his blood-drained lips. Gingerly, Steve raises his hand and puts it on Bucky’s forearm, gently squeezing it with all of his strength, which wasn’t much. It breaks Bucky’s heart to hear Steve say that.

“I guess I did always promise I’d be with you until the end of the line,” Bucky says through his tears, voice cracking. He somehow found the ability to smile at the nostalgia, despite the fact that his best friend, maybe even the man he loved, was dying in front of him and there was nothing to be done.

“This is the…” Steve groaned in pain as he tried to sit up, “end of the line, Buck.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“You know it’s true,” Steve protests, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes and stinging the rims. Bucky dies when Steve begins to cry. He doesn’t want to accept that Steve is leaving him forever. The ivory skin Steve had is turning more pallid and deathly by the second; it’s obvious he’s dying.

“I don’t want to believe it’s true,” Bucky admits, reaching for Steve’s hand and squeezing it in his own. Bucky breaks down even more, sobbing uncontrollably as he rests his forehead on Steve’s slowly falling and rising chest, unable to look at Steve’s dying eyes.

There’s a pregnant pause before Steve prods Bucky, trying to get him to sit up. Bucky complies, not wanting to deny his dying friend anything.

“You,” Steve groans in pain as he tries to adjust his position, “wanna do a dying man a favor?”

“Anything.”

“I… I… want you to take up the mantle, Buck,” Steve demands. His voice is strained, weak. Bucky isn’t sure how Steve is still talking, what with all of the blood spilling out of him. He’s probably delusional, what with all this blood out of circulation.

“I couldn’t,” Bucky protests, not wasting a second on his answer. “I’m not like you, Steve. I’m a kill-“

“Don’t you… dare… call yourself that,” Steve retorts, words full of fire despite being slurred together. Bucky swallows the lump in his throat when he sees the anger in Steve’s eyes. Steve hates when Bucky calls himself that.

“Do you really think that I could do it?” Bucky asks solemnly, furrowing his brow to try and hold back all of the emotions running through his mind.

“I know you _can_ do it,” Steve says, coughing. He can’t lift his head without Bucky helping him anymore, and all life has bled from him and into the earth.

“I love you, Buck,” Steve says, voice and body exhausted. “That’s how I know you can.”

Bucky wants to die; he’s loved Steve his whole life and couldn’t bring himself to tell him until Steve was leaving him. Bucky broke out into fresh tears, pulling Steve up and cradling him like Mary did to Jesus after he was pulled down from the cross. Bucky feels Steve’s breaths fading, doesn’t feel them against his skin any longer.

“I love you, Steve,” Bucky says into Steve’s hair. He tilts Steve’s head back and he sees how the effort to keep air in his lungs is making Steve weaker. But to see the brief flicker of joy alight in Steve’s eyes when he says he loves him both warms and breaks Bucky’s heart. Bucky touches his lips to Steve’s; there’s not much energy in them to do anything more.

A few moments pass with Bucky sitting against the trunk of the low-hanging tree, holding Steve’s body in his arms, his head against Bucky’s chest. Bucky lets the tears stream down his cheeks slowly as the sounds of fighting and killing and dying rage and roar around him. It’s overwhelming, but Bucky feels himself fall numb to the noises and feel only Steve in his arms.

“Buck…” Steve says, worn out and dying.

“I know, Steve,” Bucky says. “I know.”

Bucky feels Steve stop breathing and he cries a fresh wave of tears knowing that his friend is dead. He knows he has to fulfill what Steve wants, and as Natasha approaches them, Bucky has never felt more responsibility to Steve than ever before. 

**Author's Note:**

> me, in ya brain: kudos/comment on this fic  
> you: but why  
> me, in ya brain: you gotta
> 
> ~Hunter


End file.
